Bittersweet – April 30, 2014
10 months ago a little person came into our lives through the ‘foster to adopt’ program and changed us forever for the better. Little Ms. B met us at a pow wow where she took our hands and lead us on a journey that we will always remember. We have lived, loved, and laughed so much this past year that I sometimes forget how much we have also cried, raged, and grieved. Little Ms. B potty trained our ‘bio-daughter’ Gracie, taught her how to tantrum, and led her into imaginary worlds and languages that we will never fully know. My husband, Justin seems to have learned that a half an hour hug is the best cure to a half an hour tantrum and that his capacity for empathy is endless. I learned from her the importance of patience, how to be playful, and most importantly the deep need for compassion in our world.
Our special little girl has taught us all about love, forgiveness, grief, and bravery. She maintained a very strong bond to her ‘tummy mommy’ while also accepting and loving a new family from a different world (“where is your tv??”). She let herself be at ease in our home and our lives. She embraced every opportunity to see her ‘tummy mommy’ and thankfully she had more and more of those opportunities as the months went by. We are happy to announce that she has gotten her wish- often tearfully stated – to live with her tummy mommy and have visits with us instead.
We will always miss Little Ms. B but it is of great comfort to know that after a celebratory supper of pancakes and bison sausage, we took her home to a mommy who is more resilient and persistent than anyone could have ever imagined; a mommy who has made a home that B wants to live in above all others; a mommy who B loves above all others; a mommy who loves B more than life itself, and who is determined to move beyond her past and give her daughter a better chance than she herself has had in life. How fortunate we are that Little Ms. B has a tummy mummy who has the resolve to turn the tide, the humility to let others help and the willingness to let us remain a part of her extended family for the days and months to come.
A huge thanks to all of our neighbours, friends and family as well as the many supportive staff at our community school and after school program for welcoming Little Ms. B into your lives and your hearts. Our intention from the start was to treat Little Ms. B as we would a bio-daughter and if she had needed to stay we would have been thrilled, but loving her as a daughter also means wanting her to be happy and so being part of the support network that helped her get back to her tummy mommy in a safe and healthy situation also makes us very thrilled. We did not take this journey alone. We have relied heavily on our friends, family and other caregivers for support. If only all parents and foster parents had the love and support that we have experienced, the world would surely be a better place.
– Heather M